Given that the world has glommed on to the green scene now, surprisingly even I am trying to pass-on a legacy of recycling and re-purposing resources before I become the main course at the worm buffet. Like my mentor Kermit, whenever I can I enjoy being green, or at least sharing a shade a smidge south of a drunk monk’s shot of Chartreuse. If saving our precious planet means double-dripping through my underwear coffee filters before a good power washing at a public fountain then count me in because I’m always game-Y!
Even a blow-hole like me wants to protect the environment, so after a trash-bath I never let folks at the bus-stop preen downstream even if I’m seen shaking off with gleeful GUSTo. Those windy restroom dryers have a bad habit of flapping my fat and shooting my scent towards innocent bystanders. Anyway the bums who beat the drums in my ears can’t take the high pressure in confined spaces, especially if by an un-thinking tool that expels hot air faster than I do after a Taco Bell burrito.
Since I am a bit of a pack-rat by nature anyway, recycling my leavings is more of a luxury for me than a chore though my wife perspective might not agree. Where most folks simply throw away their clothes with holes, I knows those ‘olds’ have a lot of life still left in them as dirt shirts, paint pants, rags, or in a pinch - drapes for the guest room. Though I’m always proud that I have a better plan than the ‘can’ for my ‘DUDS-ly long-gones’, I do admit, in the light of day (particularly strong sunlight) I’m not a fan of my inadvertent spotted n’ tanned ‘gams’.
From toilets to toasters, until my digits have stripped every switch, nut, or gasket no tired ol’ technology will find itself crossed off and tossed toward a meaningless end in a cold cloistered casket. No that hot, fiery, and very final R.I.P. parking space up front is reserved just for an old vulture like me since I’m too toxic for trash and too dried up for glue. But alas my lasting legacy can slouch tall since good fortune befalls all the recycled riches and ‘green’ goods I have diligently scavenged and ‘saved’. You see, regardless of my own final dark fate, the scraps and stuff I leave behind will forever serve as a shining light of hope, values, and a renewed productive life as a ‘plastic bin full of junk’.