Despite all their shiny, pointy, and HANDy parts, surprisingly I’m not a fan of the silverware drawer. Being a simple one cell phone organism like myself makes eating already complicated enough without all of the rules associated with directing soup scoopers, tinny tines, and serrated blades toward food. I prefer to paw and gnaw through piles of leftovers rather than perch formally in a proper high-brow dining room, dabbing a cloth napkin to my goo-graced face.
Maybe my problem is that I just don’t understand what all those chrome-colored food tools really do for me other than dare me to stare at the glare over dinner? Let’s face it a small fork usually can do the job of a long one and a huge spoon will twist my tea twice as nice as those junior-sized dudes do. While I understand why loons like me don’t get to touch ANY knives at all, you would think if that silverware table-twins is a rule, dinner hosts should break out both a short and long blades for safe n’ sane folks too.
I think the flies and butterflies probably have got the right idea when it comes to consuming food. There is no need to dabble with a paddle in soup or stab a slab of meat with a fork for sustenance. In fact sadly for me, there probably isn’t even a need to longingly linger over fattening finger-foods for fun when all that I really require for a tasty treat is a built in STRAW in my face.